Divorce can be an incredibly stressful process for some people, and it can be one of the most emotionally draining experiences someone can face. The support of a close friend can make all the difference in their journey and facing this chapter of their life. If a close friend or family member is going through a divorce, it can sometimes feel tricky to know how best to support them. Here are our top tips in supporting a friend/relative through the process:-
1. Offer a non-judgemental, listening ear
Sometimes, all your friend will need is someone there to simply listen, and vent to, without any judgement. Offering to help ‘’fix things’’, is probably not very helpful. Being a supportive, listening ear is much better.
A safe space is key to supporting your friend through the process and allowing them to process their feelings in their own way. Allowing them time to share their frustrations and fears can be a huge release to them.
2. Respect their individual journey
No divorce is the same. Each person’s case is individual and unique to their own situation – e.g. whether there are children, their ages, their financial circumstances – the list is endless.
Even if some things worked for you or others who have gone through a similar process, it may not work for them. Everyone deals with things differently and has different ways of coming to terms with their new situation.
3. Encourage them to stay social
Divorce can feel a very lonely process for some people, and they may suddenly feel very isolated, particularly if there were a number of friends who knew both your friend and their partner. Be sure to reach out by inviting them to social events, or coffee or lunch out. Try to avoid placing too much pressure on them.
4. Words of affirmation
Words of encouragement, and reminding them of their own internal strength, will go a long way. Divorce can often knock people’s confidence and so having a friend or relative who offers kind words and encouragement that they will get through this, can be a great source of support. Let them know you are proud of any progress they make and remind them of their strengths. Celebrate any progress- no matter how big or small.
5. Encourage professional support
Divorce can be very overwhelming, and starting the process can be daunting.
The support of various professionals: solicitors, therapists, mediators etc, can all play a key role in getting your friend through the process. The thought of approaching such professionals may feel scary to begin with but can be very useful in gaining knowledge into what is to be expected, obtain a greater understanding of their position, and assist in dealing with the emotional turmoil of a divorce.
6. Support & Self-Care
Going through a divorce itself is already incredibly challenging, let alone having to face the daily tasks of life. Helping with childcare, errands, cooking etc could really ease the load for your friend.
It is also important to encourage them to look after themselves, whether that be getting enough sleep, taking time to relax, or doing something they love. Offering to join them on their usual activities or hobbies may really help.
7. Patience & Support Long-Term
Once the divorce is finalised, it is easy to think it is ‘’over’’ and your support is no longer needed, but your friend may still feel a range of emotions. Be sure to check in regularly and offer support and patience throughout the months that follow. It may take some time to heal, so don’t rush them to ‘’move on’’, or ‘’get over it’’.
