This has always been a challenging question to answer. For many people, separation means that they will sadly spend less time with their children. Historically, it was typical for children to live with their mother during the week and to spend time with their father, often on alternate weekends. There may have been an after-school visit in addition to this. However, in recent times there has been a change in the tide. It is becoming more common for there to be shared care arrangements. This essentially means that the children live with both their mother and their father. For the arrangement to be considered “shared care” it does not necessarily mean that the children are spending exactly 50% of their time with each parent but the division is more balanced. Some families operate arrangements where the children spend one week with their father and the second week with their mother. Alternatively, the week itself can be divided up between the parents.
The benefit of a shared care arrangement is that the children get to spend extensive periods of time with both parents. There is also more equality in respect of the time that is spent with the children so that both parents can partake in the running around during the week and enjoy quality and more relaxing time together at the weekend.
The disadvantage of a shared care arrangement is that the children may find it difficult to adjust to spending extensive periods of time in different households. Often, parents have very different parenting styles and home environments which can be challenging for children to transition between. Younger children may find it tough to be away from one parent for a longer period of time. There may also be logistical challenges for children having to ensure that they have all of their school equipment and books with them for the period of time they are staying with one parent. It may necessitate the children having a full set of clothes, school uniform and other belongings in each household. Other items are less easy to duplicate, and it can cause trouble when they are forgotten.
With it being more common for both parents to work, it is also typical for the school holidays to be shared equally. This often to ensures that both parents get to enjoy a holiday with the children and also share the responsibility of caring for the children during that time.
Other important occasions need to be considered to include the children’s and parents’ birthdays, Christmas and Easter. A rotation of these dates to ensure fairness is common.
It is best if parents can enter into a discussion and agree their own arrangements, ensuring that they are best suited for their particular children’s needs. It may be that sitting down with a mediator is helpful and if this proves challenging then solicitors can be instructed to negotiate arrangements. The agreed arrangements for the children can be recorded in a formal agreement or court order. This does provide some certainty and clarity for all parties involved.
The trends for dividing time with children post separation are certainly changing. However, the paramount question that Judges have in mind remains the same. This is to ask, are the arrangements in the best interest of the children involved?
If you require any assistance in making arrangements to share the time with your children following your separation then contact EJ Coombs Solicitors – see our contact page or call us now:
