Co-parenting is the shared parenting of children by parents living apart. This can be challenging, particularly in the immediate term following separation. This article looks at our tips for ensuring an amicable and constructive co-parenting relationship.
Have a parenting plan in place
A parenting plan sets out the agreed arrangements to meet the needs of the children. This could include:-
· Where the children will live, and the time they will spend with each parent;
· Arrangements for the children during the school holidays and special occasions (such as birthdays and the Christmas period);
· Holidays abroad and which parent is to hold the children’s passports;
· Arrangements for the children to spend time with extended family members (such as grandparents);
· Financial support provision for everyday expenses and extra-ordinary costs (such as school trips and clubs);
· How the parents will communicate with one another (for example via email, phone, or a parenting app).
Parenting plans are beneficial as they provide consistency and stability for the children and create a clear agreement and set of expectations for the parents to refer to. It is however important for parents to keep the plan under review and be flexible, taking into account the children’s wishes and feelings as they develop or in the event unexpected circumstances arise.
Put the children’s needs first
The children should be at the forefront of both parent’s minds when making decisions involving them and they should avoid putting their own needs and emotions first.
Depending on the age of the children, parents may also wish to ascertain the children’s wishes and feelings when considering any arrangements. Child inclusive mediation provides a neutral environment for the children to express their views and voice any concerns.
Be mindful of your communications
Good communication is vital to ensure a positive co-parenting relationship and the general well-being of the family unit, particularly as if children witness conflict this can be upsetting and confusing for them.
A parenting message app may therefore be the parents’ preferred method of communication. These apps help parents anticipate how their messages may be received and offer a chance to amend messages before sending, with a view to improving their communications.
Seek support where necessary
A family mediator can assist parents in agreeing arrangements for the children. The mediator would be neutral and their aim is to facilitate discussions and help the parents reach agreement.
At E J Coombs, we are experienced in dealing with arrangements for children, including assisting with reaching agreement and preparing parenting plans. We can also direct you to some appropriate mediators, if required.
Please do not hesitate to contact us, using the links below, to arrange an initial appointment discuss your options further.
