The process of divorce and separation can be overwhelming. It is a time when you may experience a range of emotions. You may find it difficult to make decisions. It is also a time when it is necessary to think clearly and understand complex information. You are likely to have a solicitor instructed and possibly other experts to include a financial adviser, tax adviser and actuary. Therefore, managing your emotions during this difficult time is essential to ensure that you make the right decisions for you to secure your future.
Divorce is a life event that introduces uncertainty to many aspects of a person’s life-
- Family relationships- will I continue to see my spouse’s family?
- Friendship- how will we share our mutual friends?
- Home- where will I live?
- Finances- will I have enough money to live on each month?
- Relationships- Will I meet anyone again? What will my friends/family think of me?
What will a divorce coach offer to me?
Divorce can be a highly traumatic experience and it is vital that you have a holistic support team surrounding you. It is necessary to instruct good legal advisers to help navigate you through the legal process and provide you with the best advice. The same applies to financial and tax advisers to make sure that any settlement is formulated in the most efficient way, taking into account the likely tax implications. You may need the support of a counsellor who will help you to untangle the complex emotions you may experience during the process.
A divorce coach will provide something different altogether. They can provide direction and an opportunity to discuss strategies to help you navigate through the process. Your coach will also discuss with you what you would like your future to look like. This should help you make positive informed decisions about your finances within the legal process. If you have an understanding of what you would like your life to look like after divorce then you will be far better placed to provide instructions to your solicitor and other experts.
A coach is likely to work through the grief and healing cycle with you helping you to understand why you feel the way you do at certain times. Often understanding your emotions makes them much easier to bear.
Your divorce coach can work with you to help you rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. They will also work with you through different experiences that you may need to face. This may include taking your children on holiday alone for the first time. Eventually, you may decide that you would like to start dating again and your divorce coach can help you navigate through that. This can often feel like a daunting process with dating very much moved to an online arena.
Co-Parenting
The other challenge that many people face during a divorce is learning how to co-parent with their ex-spouse. This can often prove to be more challenging once new partners are introduced. A divorce coach will help to work with you to ensure that your communication is effective and any impact upon the children as a result of these challenges is minimised.
A coach can also help you make the best of the time when the children are not in your care. This can often feel like a very strange experience, as you are just not use to an empty house. A coach can come up with a plan of action for you to ensure that those child-free weekends are ones that you start to look forward to and get the best out of.
Moving Forward
Whilst a coach can provide you with the clarity and strength to make important decisions through your divorce process, they will also help you once you embark upon the next chapter in your life. Clients will often report to me that they feel a sense of loss once proceedings come to an end. I am sure that this feeling sits alongside relief. The crux of it is that legal proceedings often consume a lot of your time and once they come to an end it is helpful to have a plan of action to help you move forward.
What if I cannot afford a divorce coach?
Not everyone is in a position to be able to afford a divorce coach but there are resources available that will help you. In particular, Sara Davison has written a book “Uncoupling – How to survive and thrive after breakup and divorce”. This book will provide you with many helpful tips and strategies enabling you to take control of your future.
Need our Help?
If you are considering a divorce or separation, do not hesitate to contact us and we can advise you of the steps required to get you on the right path.
